Raine's cookbook
by falcon crest
Summary: Ever wondered what Raine's recipes taste like? Why not get a look in her cookbook? chapter 26 up!
1. Lemonade

Disclaimer: I do not own ToS... but sadly I _do_ own Raine's recipes...

* * *

Lemonade (For one person)

3 lemons

* * *

Squeeze the lemons in a glass and serve.

* * *

Genis: Raaaiiiine. Why didn't you put any water or sugar in?

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: add sugar and water next time I make lemonade


	2. Chocolate chip pancakes

Chocolate chip pancakes (5 people)

60g of sugar (4 tablespoons)

550cl of milk (1/2 quart)

4 eggs

500g of flour (1.1 pounds)

100g of chocolate chips (1/2 cup)

1 chili pepper

5g of Tabasco (1 teaspoon)

15g of wasabi (1 tablespoon)

* * *

Put the flour in a bowl and make a small crater in the middle. Put the eggs in the crater and mix slowly. Smash the chili pepper and mix it with the Tabasco and the wasabi. While mixing the eggs, slowly add the milk and the chili pepper sauce (Be careful not mix to fast or lumps will form in the batter).

Cook for 1 minute and then turn. Sprinkle some chocolate chips and serve the pancake.

* * *

Genis: Water! Water! Aqua Edge! More water! *splurt* Water! Why is there chili pepper and wasabi in these pancakes! *splurt* Waaateeeeeer!

Raine: To give it a more original taste. Besides, chili peppers are good for you.

Genis: Aqua edge! *splurt* 'Feel better now… Not in pancakes! Pancakes are supposed to be sweet!

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: No more chili peppers or Tabasco in the pancakes.


	3. LTB

LTB sandwich (1 person)

1 leaf of lettuce

1 tomato

3 slices of bacon

* * *

Shred the bacon, lettuce and tomato and mix the fragments thus obtained. Add some water if necessary. Take achieved paste and but it on a sandwich. You may toast the bread if preferred hot.

* * *

Genis: What's this paste?

Raine: I made you a sandwich.

Genis: (bites) Where's the trap?

Raine: What trap?

Genis: (spits) What the hell is this paste!?!?

Raine: Lettuce bacon and tomato… this is an LTB sandwich

Genis: They're supposed to- (spits more) –be separate (spit some more and then decides to go to the restroom)

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: Remember to not crush everything together and just serve the ingredients separately.

* * *

From now on, I will work this out differently. You will tell me what you want a recipe of (chocolate cake, grilled burgers etc. you name it) and I will give you Raine's version of it.


	4. Angel cake

Upon Kailey's request, this recipe is an angel cake.

* * *

Angel cake (6 people)

Egg whites 9

Angel feathers 15

Sugar 1 cup

Flour 7/8 cup

Salt 1/8 cup

Vanilla extract 1 tablespoon

* * *

Separate the white from the yolks and beat the egg whites to froth. Take 15 feathers off any available angel and sift them together. Then sift the sugar. Add the sifted feathers to the egg whites and while mixing add the sugar

Sift flour and salt and add to the mixture.

Add the vanilla and mix

Pour into an angel cake tin for 45 minutes at 300°F

Remove the cake and put it upside down, keeping it about one inch above the table to let steam escape, then wait for it to fall out.

Can be served with sauce to add extra taste.

* * *

Raine: Now come here now… Don't be shy…

Kratos: (backing away) Do not come closer, this is an order!

Raine: Now, now… just a tiny bit.

Kratos: No!

Raine: Don't be stingy, just a handful.

Kratos: I will not permit you to do such-

(Two or three hours later)

Genis: It looks good. What is it?

Raine: Angel cake.

Genis: Where's the trap?

Raine: There isn't any.

Genis: (Eats a slice) Save me! Please!

Raine: First aid! Healing circle! Revitalize!

Genis: (pukes) I will not bother asking you what's wrong with this thing… (Collapses with a fever).

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: Never make another angel cake.

* * *

So, what will the next recipe be?


	5. Plain Chocolate cake

And now, I hereby, by Lupanari's demand, will post Raine's version of a chocolate cake.

* * *

Chocolate cake (6 people)

Black chocolate (95-100% cocoa) 200g (7 ounces)

Butter 1 cup (220g)

Sugar 1 cup (220g)

* * *

Break the chocolate into small pieces and melt with the butter.

Separate the egg yolks and whites.

Beat the egg yolks and mix in half of the sugar. Pour in the melted chocolate mixture.

Beat the egg yolks to froth. Then gradually mix in the rest of the sugar.

Fold the egg white mixture in the egg yolk and chocolate mixture.

Bake for 40min at 350°C (660°F).

* * *

Genis: What is it now?

Raine: Guess.

Genis: Its brown and it smells of chocolate… A chocolate cake?

Raine: Yes.

Genis: My tongue! It's hot!!! And why is it so sour?!?!

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: Next time, use sweet chocolate and cook at 350° _**Fahrenheit**_.

* * *

So, readers… From what affliction will Genis suffer next time?


	6. Cheesecake

This time, its _The Light Hidden in the Shadow's_ request. Let's see what it tastes like!

* * *

Cheesecake (4 people)

8 oz cheddar (or Swiss cheese if you like)  
1 cup butter  
1 cup sugar  
4 eggs  
4 Tb flour  
2 tsp baking powder  
1 tsp vanilla extract  
4 Tb sour cream (must take the lumps of butter out)

* * *

Melt together the cheese and butter

Beat eggs and sugar together, mix in flour, baking powder and vanilla extract.

Slowly fold in the cheese and butter mixture

Bake for 50 minutes at 350°F (210°C)

Serve at room temperature.

* * *

Genis: I don't like the look of this.

Raine: Why? It's cheesecake.

Genis: It doesn't _look_ like cheesecake.

Raine: Taste it!

Genis: (silent prayer to Martel) Yuck! What did you put in?!?! (Swallows some pain killers)

Raine: I took a cake recipe and put cheese in it.

Genis: You're not supposed to!

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: cheesecakes are made differently.

* * *

What torture shall Genis suffer of next?

(PS: I'll try to not always take recipes from the same people…)


	7. Caramel slice

This time its _Black-Dove15 _desert

* * *

Caramel slice (4 people)

1/4 cup butter

1 cup brown sugar

1 coconut

1 egg

3/4 cup flour

1 Tb baking powder

1/2 cup salt

1 Tb vanilla extract

* * *

Beat the egg.

Melt butter and add sugar.

Mix in coconut, flour, beaten egg, baking powder salt and vanilla extract.

Pour in a baking pan

Bake for 25 min at 350°F cool down and serve.

* * *

Genis: What's this lump?

Raine: The best part.

Genis: May Martel judge me as pure and accept me to access heaven.

Raine: Where you saying something?

Genis: No, no…

Raine: Good, now taste.

Genis: (eats) Wath 'he hell ith thith? I 'roke half 'y 'eeth! An', ith way 'oo thalthy 'oo!

Raine: I can' understand what you're saying, it seems like the coconut broke your teeth

Genis: Thath whath I'th 'een 'rying 'oo 'ay!

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: Shred the coconut first and put some less salt.

* * *

Ouch- that has got to hurt… what next?


	8. Fish burger

So _Apprentice Writer_ has asked, so I have given. Beware the nightmare fish burger!

* * *

Fish burger (3 people)

2 Fish filets

1/3 cup bread crumbs

1/3 chopped celery

1/4 cup melted cheese (preferably blue cheese)

1 /2 cup chopped fresh onion

3 Tb sour pickles

2 Tb mustard (with grains)

1 tb lemon juice

1 egg

* * *

Beat the egg and melt cheese.

Cook fish until dark brown.

Flake cooked fish.

Mix together fish, cheese, celery, onion, and bread crumbs.

Mix together beaten egg, mayonnaise, mustard and lemon juice.

Stir into fish mixture.

Form three patties with obtained batter.

Broil 3 to 5 minutes on each side.

* * *

Genis: (pokes the blackish brown thing in front of him.) What is it?

Raine: Fish burger.

Genis: Oh… And I _have_ to eat it, right?

Raine: Yes!

Genis: (swallows the indescribable black soot mixture in front of him): 'Ish shing ish 'ay 'oo shour! Shour an' burnt! An' she sheese ish wrong!!!

Raine: (takes out notebook) Right, memo: change cheese, reduce heat and divide by two all the sour things.

* * *

This is inhuman torture. It goes against morality. Genis should stop the suffering… Or not. So, what's the next recipe going to be?


	9. Apple pie

Sorry for the late update. I didn't have time with the end of year exams.

* * *

At end of chapter there is going to be a _**VERY**_ important message, so read it please.

* * *

To _RevivedSin _request, here is "Apple pie à la Raine"

* * *

Apple pie (2 people)

1/2 cup unsalted butter

3 Tb flour

1/2 cup white sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

8 apples

* * *

Melt butter till brown. Mix in flour until a paste is formed. Mix in white sugar and brown sugar.

Put a crust on your pan. Put apples in. Put another layer of crust on the apples. Slowly pour sugar paste on the upper layer of the crust

Bake 15 minutes at 445°F (220°C) increase temperature to 665°F (350°C) and continue baking for 40 minutes.

* * *

Genis: I smell… apple pie?

Raine: Yes.

Genis: You _do_ know that there are lumps and the crust is nearly black, _right_?

Raine: Just eat it.

Genis: (Wide eyed) How did you do this? (spits) You managed to burn seeds in a pie! (coughs and picks something out of his throat) And skin! Didn't you peel anything?!?!

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: Peel apples and cook correctly.

Genis: (purple face) *choke* And the seeds! *choke*

Raine: Right, and remove the seeds

* * *

I will not accept any requests for chapter 10. Every tenth chapter will be a menu for _Restaurant Raine_. These menus will be made of all the requests that have been done and that I have not granted. Requests will start being granted again on chapter 11. See you all, at _Restaurant Raine_.


	10. Restaurant Raine 1

Sorry it took so long to update, had a few things to do. Anyway, here's the first menu of _Restaurant Raine_

* * *

Here are _Idiot Lloyd and Genuis Genis_' and _Revived Sin_'s requests of spaghetti and curry

* * *

Curry flavored spaghetti (2 people)

6 tbs vegetable oil

1 and ½ big onion (preferably strong flavored ones)

6 cloves of garlic (keep raw)

4 red chilies (chopped)

1 tbs cumin

1 tbs coriander leaves

About 1 cup of smashed and grinded tomatoes

240g (1/2 pound) spaghetti

* * *

Heat oil in a heavy pan. Chop onions. Then add chopped onions to the oil and stir a few minutes at high temperature.

Add garlic and chili. Stir for one minute then increase temperature

Cook for 15 minutes.

Add cumin and coriander and cook for another 5 minutes keeping the temperature high.

Take off the pan and put in a bowl. Add 1 oz of cold water and mix until surface is roughly flat. Then add the tomatoes and stir.

Put the mixture back on the pan and cook for another 20 minutes over medium heat. Stir until mixture achieves a crimson brown color.

Take a pot and fill half way with curry. Wait till curry boils. Put spaghetti in and keep for about 30 minutes.

Take spaghetti out (you might need to scrap the bottom of the pot to do so) and serve.

* * *

And here are _Aerith The Evenstar_'s and _Kailey_'s requests of BBQ chicken and stir-fry

* * *

Stir fried BBQ chicken (3 people)

8 liters of oil

One chicken (without entrails, head, and talons)

1 liter (1 quart) barbecue sauce

* * *

Pour liter of barbecue sauce in chicken and close it up.

Pour eight liters of oil in a pot and boil.

Put chicken in oil and stir it from time to time to be sure it gets fried equally on each side.

Remove chicken from oil, dry and serve

* * *

Raine: Genis! I made you a whole meal!

Genis: (sighs) Err… Raine?

Raine: Yes?

Genis: What exactly _is _this?

Raine: Spaghetti with curry sauce and stir fry barbecue chicken.

Genis: Oh… I see… Is the spaghetti _supposed_ to be bright red?

Raine: Eat it!

Genis: (Eats some chicken and turns purplish green, then tastes the spaghetti and falls on the ground) Sis…

* * *

See you again, at _Restaurant Rain_e.

P.S: I will now start accepting recipe requests again.


	11. Popcorn

Sorry for the wait, but it was hard to make her screw up popcorn, which is basically, popped corn.

Anyway, thanks for waiting, and here's _Idiot Lloyd and Genuis Genis_' request for popcorn

* * *

Popcorn (2 people)

1 cup butter

1/3 cup popcorn kernels

1/2 cup sugar

2 quarts oil

* * *

Melt butter. Then mix melted butter and sugar. Put the popcorn in mixture and remove. Wait about 15 minutes until the kernels harden.

Boil oil at very high temperature. When bubbling, add the kernels. Let the kernels pop for about 5 minutes, then scrape popcorn off the walls and serve.

* * *

Genis: Raine? I heard noise in the kitchen, wh- Oh my god! Why are there holes in the wall?

Raine: I made popcorn.

Genis: You made a riffle!

Raine: Eat!

Genis: (eats popcorn, tries to munch, and gives up and swallows the pieces) Help…

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: don't put icing that solidifies on the kernels.

* * *

So, what next?


	12. Smoothies

Ok, so here's _MosesxandxShikamaruxarexcool_'s request for the infernal popcorn

* * *

Pineapple eggplant smoothie (3 people)

1 pineapple

1 eggplant

3 fl. oz. (90 mL) yogurt

* * *

Clean pineapple and eggplant and put into blender (don't peel them; most of the vitamins are in the peel).

Once blended, add the yogurt and mix. Then serve.

* * *

Genis: it smells fresh… what is it?

Raine: Smoothies!

Genis: Err Raine… You _do_ know that smoothies are supposed to be, well, you know… _smooth_, right?

Raine: Nonsense, they're fine right here, full of vitamins. Taste them.

Genis: I knew it would come down to this…

Raine: What?

Genis: Nothing… (drinks some, chokes on peel and pukes due to the eggplant in the yogurt) Yuck!

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: Avoid peels.

Genis: Are you mad?!?! Eggplants do _not_ go in smoothies

Raine: And avoid the eggplants too.

* * *

So... What's next?


	13. Fried eggs

Oooo-kay, here's _Peridot Tears_' request for fried eggs. Please enjoy… even if Genis won't.

* * *

Fried eggs (1person)

2 eggs

* * *

Take a frying pan and grease it. Heat pan on medium heat. Then put eggs on pan and fry for about five minutes (don't take the shell off, that's where all the calcium is).

* * *

Genis: Wh-

Raine: Eggs.

Genis: You're not supposed to cook the shells for god's sake!

Raine: Calcium is good for you… So… eat it!

Genis: Ok, fine, whatever (tastes eggs: crunches eggshells and swallows raw yolk and white).Yuck! (pukes)

Raine: (takes out notebook and starts writing) Right, memo: Crack the eggs and only cook the insides.

* * *

There, done. What next?


	14. Blueberry muffins

Here's _MosesxandxShikamaruxarexcool_'s request for blueberry muffins

* * *

Blueberry muffins (4 people)

2 cups flour

1 and 1/4 cup salt

1/2 teaspoon sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/3 cup vegetable oil

1 egg

1/3 cup milk

1 cup fresh blueberries

1/4 cup butter, cubed

1 and 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

* * *

Mix 1 and 1/2 cups flour, 3/4 cup salt, sugar and baking powder. Place vegetable oil into a 1 cup measuring cup; add the egg and enough milk to fill the cup. Mix this with flour mixture. Fold in blueberries. Fill muffin cups right to the top, and sprinkle with crumb topping mixture.

To Make Crumb Topping: Mix together 1/2 cup salt, 1/3 cup flour, 1/4 cup butter, and 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon. Mix with fork, and sprinkle over muffins before baking.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes 400°F. Then serve.

* * *

Genis : -

Raine: Blueberry muffins

Genis: I didn't ask.

Raine: I told you anyway. Now, do me a favor and taste them.

Genis: (sniffs them carefully) Seems ok… I guess I can taste.

Raine: Well, I'm waiting, you know…

Genis: (bites one and spit it out) Raine! You -yuck- Mixed up sugar and salt!

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: Don't mix up sugar and salt proportions.

* * *

Wow… that was… _tasty_. What next recipe shall there be?


	15. Melon bread

Here's Raine's melon bread, just as asked by _RevivedSin_

* * *

Melon bread (4 people)

2 and 1/4 cups cubed cantaloupe rind

1/4 oz. instant yeast

3 and 1/4 cups all wheat flour

2 tablespoons vital wheat gluten

1/3 cup fresh milk

3 tablespoons white sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup paprika

1 egg

3 tablespoons butter, softened

1 orange peel

* * *

Puree 1 and 1/2 cups cubed cantaloupe rind. Reserve remaining 3/4 cup cubed cantaloupe rind.

Place yeast, flour, gluten, fresh milk, sugar, salt, paprika, egg, butter, orange peel, cubed cantaloupe rind and cantaloupe puree in a pan. Cook for one hour at 325°F

Let cool, cut into thin slices and serve.

* * *

Raine: Its-

Genis: Never mind, let me taste it and die already!

Raine: Hey-

Genis: (takes a bite. Eyes start twitching. Chokes on the peel and finally hurts his jaws on the grind) How… how did you manage to do something so glutinous, gooey, spicy and hard to chew at the same time? (Faints)

Raine: Interesting reaction... First Aid!

* * *

Oops… let me puke… Back. So, what will be next?


	16. Chocolate fudge

_tiger002_ has given me a top secret family recipe for peanut butter chocolate fudge. I have given it to Raine and now… Raine will give it to you.

* * *

Peanut butter chocolate fudge (3 people)

2 cups sugar

6 tbs black chocolate (85-100%)

4 cups peanut butter

1 cup butter

1 tbs vanilla extract

* * *

Mix and cook sugar and cocoa on a stove at medium heat and once it starts bubbling add peanut butter. Continue cooking for another half hour

Once its texture comes to a state close to a solid rock, scrape it off and add butter and vanilla extract. Serve.

* * *

Genis: Another chocolate cake?

Raine: Yes, chocolate fudge

Genis: (takes the chocolate fudge and bangs it against the table) Raine! There's a dent on the table!

Raine: Eat it!

Genis: (tries to eat it, then to munch it and then gives up when his jaws ache) 'Horry 'His, it ih inedible. Behide, There'h no chocolate, all I could tahte was peanut butter and a very hour thing.

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: reduce cooking time and put more chocolate.

Genis: _Hweet_ chocolate!

Raine: All right, more _sweet_, chocolate.

* * *

Oh well, I guess _tiger002_'s secret recipe will stay a secret. So what next?


	17. Fruit pie

Well… here comes _accident prone_'s fruit pie. Fr the better or (most probably) for the worst

* * *

Fruit pie (four people)

9 inches of pie shell

3 apples

3 fresh peaches

1 pear

3/4 cup white sugar

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1/3 cup packed brown sugar

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

6 tablespoons butter

1/2 cup chopped pecans

* * *

Peel and take seeds out of apples and pear. Peel peaches and take core out.

Takes flesh and puree it.

Mound seeds and peel (don't forget the peach cores) into a 9 inch pie shell.

In a medium bowl, combine 3/4 cup flour, butter, brown sugar and chopped pecans. Mix until crumbly and sprinkle on top of seeds and peel

Bake at 400°F (205°C) for 35 to 40 minutes

Serve. You may use the pureed flesh as dog food.

* * *

Genis: Hey, Raine, looks good.

Raine: Glad to hear that.

Genis: (about to have some fruit puree)-

Raine: No, yours is the pie.

Genis: Oh… (Eats some. Crunches on the seeds, gets cores stuck in his throat and chokes and peel)

Raine: Genis?

Genis: (with tears in his eyes) Raine! The fruit is supposed to be _in_ the pie and the seeds cores and peel _out_ of the pie, not the opposite

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: fruit goes in and peels goes out


	18. Instant ramen

This is for _Dreamstar13_.

I'll add a warning. This is the first and **_last_** time Raine prepares an instant food…

* * *

Instant Ramen (1 person)

1 instant ramen package

Take package. Boil it. Serve while hot.

* * *

Raine: I didn't have time for dinner so I'm making instant ramen.

Genis: What-Are-You-Doing?!?!

Raine: Well, _photon_ has an energetic field sending waves that heat- up the-

Genis: _Photon_ is a _spell_! You don't cook meals with a _spell_! And even if you did, you're supposed to at least take the stuff out of the _box_!

Raine: Well… eat it.

Genis: No.

Raine: (bumps his head with her staff) Eat it!

Genis: All right, all right. (glows bright white and faints)

* * *

So… next torture?


	19. Ice cream

Here's _RevivedSin_'s request for ice cream

* * *

Ice cream (3people)

1 cup white sugar

1 cup milk

2 eggs

2 cups heavy cream

1/2 cup lemon juice

* * *

In medium sauce pan over low heat, stir together sugar, milk and eggs. Cook, stirring continuously, until mixture is thick enough to stick on a piece of ice. Remove from heat and let cool.

In a medium bowl, whip cream until soft peaks form. Beat in lemon juice, and whip until stiff peaks form. Fold whipped cream into cooled custard. Chill 8 hours or overnight.

* * *

Raine: I made you some ice cream

Genis: It smells like frozen cheese.

Raine: It's healthy.

Genis: What kind of ice cream?

Raine: Lemon ice cream.

Genis: Oh (eats it… spits it out!) That's what I thought, it's cheese!

Raine: Right, memo: Leaving the cream in citric acid will make it ferment…

* * *

PS: I just gave you a chemistry course… a dairy product left in lemon juice will become sour cheese.

* * *

PPS: Not accepting requests for next chapter… But I promise there's going to be a surprise. A big one, a surprise even bigger than chapter 10!


	20. Restaurant Raine 2

Ok, so due to the insane amount of requests I have received, Raine has had to invite all her friends over. Please enjoy (I'm not sure if they will, though…)

* * *

Raine: I forgot something in the kitchen. I'll be right back. Start eating without me.

Lloyd: Hey Genis, are you tasting first?

Genis: Me? I have to suffer this every day! Kratos is 4000 years old, he's immortal, let him taste first.

Kratos: I resent this. Yuan is just as old and he has been of less help to the group than I, he should try first.

Yuan: Me? Have you no respect for me after all we have been through? Why not Lloyd have some first.

Lloyd: Why me? Why not Colette while you're at it?

Colette: (fidgeting) Err, sorry, but I really wouldn't like to… Hey, wouldn't Presea appreciate it?

Presea: The odds of I liking it are of zero percent. Shouldn't Regal have it?

Regal: This is not a good idea; I need full health to run the Lezareno® Company correctly. Sheena should try.

Sheena: Hey! Why should I? What will the Mizuhoans do without a chief? Let that idiot chosen taste first.

Zelos: Huh? What? Did my voluptuous hunny want to give me something?

Sheena: Why, as a matter of fact, yes, I do…

Raine: Who's going to taste first?

Everyone: Zelos will.

Zelos: Ouch. That was a dirty trick…

* * *

First the appetizer: _RevivedSin_'s request for Natto and _Shiankumo Bani_'s request for croquettes.

* * *

Natto croquettes (10 people)

1/4 quart milk

3 eggs

2 pounds soy beans

3 and 1/2 cups cold mashed potatoes (prepared with milk and butter)

2 medium onions, chopped

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

1and 1/2 cups crushed crumbs

vegetable oil for frying

* * *

Leave the milk in warm air (around 70°F) for about a day. Filter milk and keep liquid residue, (its color is pale yellow)

Smash soy beans and leave them in milk residue for about two days. Once fermented, clean and put aside

In a large bowl, beat 1 egg. Add the fermented soy beans, potatoes, onion, salt and pepper; mix well.

Shape into 12 balls. Beat remaining 2 eggs; dip balls in egg beaten eggs, then roll in the crushed crumbs.

Shape each ball into a cone. Boil 4 in. of oil to 375°F. Fry croquettes, six at a time. Serve immediately

* * *

Zelos: Are you sure that-

Everyone: -Eat it!

Zelos: (swallows it.) Aaaaaah! It's hot! Hot! Hot!!!! (Gags and spits out the oil) What the hell is the oil still doing on? It's supposed to be dried off! (turns greenish) And… why is it… rotten? (falls over)

Raine: Oh, sorry, whatever: RESURRECTION! Now you can enjoy the rest of the meal

Zelos: Can't I just die in peace?

* * *

Now, for the main dishes. _RevivedSin_'s BBQ Pork Buns and _Peridot Tears_' Ravioli

* * *

BBQ pork ravioli (8 people)

1 pound flour

1/4 pound pig brain

1/4 pound ham

2 eggs

12 oz. water

1/2 cup salt

2 quarts BBQ sauce

* * *

Separate egg yolk from egg white (you may dispose of the egg white).

Mix together egg yolks, flour and salt slowly adding water. Put obtained dough aside and let it dry for 1/2 half hour to an hour.

Shred pig brain and ham. Mix together shredded meats. Put aside.

Flatten to very thin previously made dough and separate in about 110 to 130 pieces of equal size (separate the flatten dough in an 12 by 11 rectangle to obtain 132 pieces)

Take some of the shredded meat mixture and put it on one piece. Then take another piece and recover it. Repeat the same operation until out of meat.

Bake for 2 minutes at low temperature to slightly harden the dough.

Fill pot with BBQ sauce and make it boil. Once vapor is forming, take ravioli, and put them on top to be steamed. Wait about a half hour and serve.

* * *

Here's what comes from _tiger002'_s pizza and _MosesxandxShikamaruxarexcool_'s request for mashed potatoes.

* * *

Mashed potato pizza (6 people)

2 large pizza doughs

1 pound potatoes

1 cup tomato sauce

1/4 pound blue cheese

1/2 pineapple

1/3 cup of mustard

* * *

Crush, grind and smash potatoes until completely mashed.

Spread tomato sauce on each pizza. And then add a layer of mashed potatoes. And then add mustard

Cut pineapple and blue cheese in small pieces and deposit on the rest of the pizzas.

Cook in oven at 420°F for about 25 minutes. Then serve.

* * *

Here comes _PshycoticJayAndNarutoFangirl_'s onion soup demand and _VMist_'s request for salad.

* * *

Onion salad soup (8 people)

2 quart water

5 large onions

1 big cabbage

1 big green lettuce

16 oz. vinegar

* * *

Boil water and then pour vinegar.

Peel onions. Then chop them. Separate lettuce leaves. Cut the cabbage in small dice.

Once vinegar/water liquid is boiling, put in chopped onions, lettuce leaves and cabbage dice.

Boil for a 1/2 hour. Serve.

* * *

Yuan: I think I'll have some… ravioli, right? (tastes it, falls on the floor and squirms) Urg! Steamed pig! Not edible!

Lloyd: Oooo-kay. No ravioli for me. I think I'll help myself to some pizza. (Looks at it suspiciously and then finally takes a bite) Mustard… blue cheese… potatoes… They don't go tog- (becomes unconscious)

Kratos: I suppose no one can mess up boiled water. I shall taste the soup. (blinks. Gets kncked unconscious)

Genis: I think it's the vinegar… (smells breath) yuck! And probably the boiled lettuce too.

Raine: Well then, time for desert!

* * *

You heard her… time for desert!

* * *

_Beloved Princess_ wanted pumpkin pie and _MosesxandxShikamaruxarexcool_ wanted apple sauce. Well, so they shall be served!

* * *

Apple coated pumpkin pie (5 people)

6 apples

1/4 pumpkin

1 pie crust

1/2 cup flour

1/4 cup salt

* * *

Lay pie crust on cooking pan and set aside.

Peel and seed apples, then crunch to recuperate the juice. Mix juice with salt and flour to thicken it. Then pour obtained sauce in pan.

Slice pumpkin thinly and place slices on top of the apple pie.

Cook for 30 minutes at 400°F. Serve.

* * *

Genis: Let's make a recap. Who's still alive?

Colette: Me.

Raine: What kind of a stupid question is this?

Presea: My physical state is near optimal

Regal: I'm fine

Sheena: Health is ok over here.

Raine: Have some pie.

Presea: I'll have some. (tastes the pie and swallows it very difficultly. Runs to the restroom) Excess salt for the digestive system, unnecessary grind too. (collapses)

* * *

And now, as a grand finale, _Sarahh303_'s coffee.

* * *

Coffee (4 people)

1/2 quart water

4 pounds coffee beans

Grind beans until obtaining powder.

Boil water. Add coffee powder and stir until pitch black.

Serve coffee. May add sugar or milk.

* * *

Raine: Who wants coffee? I just made some.

Colette: Sorry, I need to bring Lloyd back to Dirk's or he'll be worried.

Regal: Excuse my absence but I must go back with Presea and check some files out back at the Lezareno® headquarters.

Sheena: I have to go back to Mizuho and deposit the idiot chosen on the way.

Colette: Sorry Genis.

Raine: Ok, then… Genis, you have some. It will help you digest.

Genis: I doubt so.

Raine: take it, now!

Genis: Why do I always have to suffer? (Drinks coffee and spits it out.) Yuck! How much coffee did you put in? It's way too sour.

Raine: I made it the exact same way you make hot cocoa.

Genis: You're not supposed to! *Ouch* All right, all right… forget I said anything.

* * *

So this is the end of _Restaurant Raine 2_, requests are being accepted again, and see you again, in ten chapters, at _Restaurant Raine_ ;)


	21. Fried rice

For reasons best known to myself, lately, I have been wondering if it wouldn't be a good idea to eat some of Raine's nastiest recipes and just get it over with. For that reason, as you can imagine, with that kind of state of mind, I was nowhere close to writing something so much as slightly humorous, never mind hilarious. So I would want to say this: I am sorry to have you waiting and hope you will forgive my absence of updates for so long. Now that I'm back, I'll restart a bit. So here we go.

* * *

For my great comeback, I will follow _Shiankumo Bani_'s request for fried rice.

* * *

Fried rice (3 people)

½ pound plain white rice

½ gallon frying oil

* * *

Pour oil in a pot and boil. Once the oil boils, add the rice. Let it cook for about 7 minutes. Then remove rice and dry it for a couple minutes.

Grease a frying pan and put rice in. Fry for a couple minutes. Serve immediately.

* * *

Raine: Hey, Genis, I made you some fried rice.

Genis: Yeah… right… let me guess, you didn't fry it on a frying pan, right?

Raine: that is insulting. As a matter of fact I _did_ fry it in a frying pan

Genis: Stinks like oil… oh, well, whatever. (eats and chews) (continues to chew) (still chewing). Damnit, why is it so hard to chew… Ah, it's finally starting to get… CRUNCHY? What the hell did you do?

Raine: I deep fried it and then cooked it on a frying pan.

Genis: (spits it out and gags because of the excess grease in them). It -puke- can't absorb oil! You can't cook rice grains in oil!

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: don't fry rice in oil first.

Genis: No! You have to _boil_ it first.

Raine: Fine… boil rice previously

Genis: In water!

Raine: -In water.

* * *

Hope you've liked this chapter as well. Of course, I'm actively waiting for requests for the next chapter so post often (yes, I know, you should do as I say and not as I do…)


	22. Napoleon

I was asked and asked and asked again… no, wait, I was only asked twice, oh, whatever, anyway, _RevivedSin_ asked for a Napoleon and so she will be served… more or less…

* * *

Napoleon (6 people)

500g (1 pounds) pizza dough

1 egg

10 oz soy milk

¼ cup sugar

1/3 cup flour

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/3 cup powder sugar

¼ cup salt

¼ gallon water

* * *

Flatten pizza dough to about the thickness of 1/10 of an inch then poke it with a fork and put it in the oven at 320°F (180°C) for about 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, start boiling soy milk. Beat in a bowl egg, sugar, vanilla extract, and flour. Once milk is boiling, pour it in the bowl.

Cook obtained liquid in a pot until you obtain thick pasty goo.

Once pizza dough is cooked and dry, cut it in four equal sized slices. Put thick goo on three slices and then put slices on each other. After which, put the fourth slice on top.

To make the icing, mix sugar salt and water and spread on top of the napoleon. Serve.

* * *

Raine: Geniiiis, time for dessert!

Genis: What is it?

Raine: Guess.

Genis: It's big, slimy, looks gooey smells sweetish and is completely soggy- ouch that hurt no need to hit me with your staff.

Raine: Eat it.

Genis: (takes a mouthful of Napoleon) Yuck! Its wet and crumbling and gooey and… and… well, just plain disgusting. And why is there soy milk in a pastry? And why pizza dough and… so much salt!

Raine: Its milk, isn't it the same whether dairy or soy? And we had pizza dough, I didn't want to waste it.

Genis: Yeah, right, why waste two year old pizza dough? And what about the salt and water.

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: less salt and less water.

Genis: (runs for the security of the restroom)

* * *

well, here you go, lets see what next chapter brings in for us... oh, poor, poor, Genis...


	23. Smores

Here's Raine's answer to _t11baf_'srequest for smores.

* * *

Smores (1 person)

1 marshmallow

1 slice of white bread

2 squares of chocolate

* * *

Cut the slice of white bread in two equal halves and put a square of chocolate on each of them then put the marshmallow on one and put the other half as to form a sandwich. Put a skewer through sandwich and put skewer in hot flames. Turn every few seconds. Continue doing so for about 20 to 25 minutes. Remove sandwich and serve.

* * *

Genis: Raine, I can more or less guess what you were actually trying to do… but aren't these smores as black and hard as coal?

Raine: Nonsense, chocolate recipes are always cooked for about twenty minutes.

Genis: Yes, but here, you were supposed to only cook the marshmallows… for ONE minute.

Raine: Anyway… eat it!

Genis: Do I have a choice?

Raine: No.

Genis: Thought so… (eats black coal like thing and spits it out immediately). This is disgusting, I told you that's not how to do it!!!

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: cook marshmallow alone for a couple minutes only.

Genis: Graham crackers!!!

Raine: Fine, AND use graham crackers instead of white bread.


	24. Tea

Did any of you truly believe that there was something Raine couldn't mess up? _Whiteninjaalchemist _seemed to. Well here's Raine's answer for your tea request.

* * *

Tea (one person)

50 tea leaves

* * *

Put tea leaves in a bowl and smash vigorously until obtaining a mushy paste. Boil paste. Can be served with sugar, milk, lemon or any other desired accommodation.

* * *

Raine: Genis, come here I made you some tea.

Genis: It sure doesn't _look_ like tea.

Raine: Well… anyway, taste.

Genis: I knew it would come down to this… at least it has the right _smell_… (drinks bubbly green paste and spits it out) Like hell this is tea! It tastes like grass! You need to boil the leaves in water!

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: boil tea leaves in water, and then serve them.

Genis: No! You serve the water!

Raine: Fine, serve the water instead


	25. Chocolate bar

_AquaticWings_ wanted a chocolate bar? Well, luckily for her, Genis is the one who's going to get it.

* * *

A number of you have asked for another vict- food taster than Genis. So, under the pressure of the crowd, I will from time to time, add another friend to taste.

Chocolate bar (10 people)

* * *

10 handfuls cocoa grains

½ cup milk

3 cups water

3 tbsp walnuts

2 tbsp almonds

1tbsp peanuts

2 tbsp dry rice

1 tsp powder coffee

1 tbsp hard caramel

1 tbsp corn

1 tbsp sliced bananas

1 tbsp sliced strawberries

1 tbsp sliced cherries

1 tbsp orange peel

2 tsp chili pepper

2 tsp fruit liquor

* * *

Take cocoa grains and grind them. Mix with 2 cups of water and let dry. You should obtain a sort of paste. Put obtained pasted on the side.

Crunch walnuts, almonds, peanuts and caramel, take orange peel and various fruit and chili pepper and slice them until obtaining very small pieces. Put them and the rice in a large bowl.

Mix the rest of the water and milk with the obtained paste until the paste is humidified and soft. Then, while gently mixing, add all contents of the fruit bowl in the humidified chocolate paste. Then, while still mixing gently, add the fruit liquor and add coffee.

Mold obtained chocolate paste in a rectangular 4 inch x 10 inch x ½ inch rectangular bar and cook for two hours at 80°C (160°F).

Remove chocolate bar. Let it cool and serve.

* * *

Lloyd: Thanks for inviting me Genis.

Genis: Sorry Lloyd.

Raine: I made chocolate, who wants some?

Genis: What kind of chocolate?

Lloyd: I think I'll leave.

Raine: First, have a taste.

Genis: Raine, what kind of chocolate?

Raine: Well, I couldn't decide, so I made all.

Lloyd: (hesitantly eats some) Since when do you put nuts uncooked rice and alcohol together? (runs to the restroom and purifies his stomach)

Genis: Why is the rice so hard? (twitches) And what the hell is with all these flavors, it's not eatable! It's disgusting. AND WHY THE CHILI PEPPER?

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: Only chose one chocolate recipe.

* * *

There, that's how it is. The moral of the story is: TOO MANY DIFFERENT FLAVORS IN CHOCOLATE MAKES IT UNEATABLE!!!


	26. Strawberry shortcake

_AquaticWings_, I am sorry to tell you that even though I gave your exact recipe to Raine, she tried to change it a bit and, in the end, it gave this kind of result.

* * *

Strawberry Shortcake(4 people)

1/20 oz strawberries  
4 cups granulated sugar  
3 cups melted butter  
2/5 cups of flower  
3 cups granulated sugar  
1 tablespoon baking powder  
4 teaspoons salt  
1 cup milk  
1 egg white, beaten to froth  
4/3 cup whipped cream

* * *

Preheat oven to 400°F (205°C).

In a large bowl, mix strawberries and 4 cups sugar; set aside.

In a medium bowl, cut butter into flour, 3 cups sugar, the baking powder and salt, using pastry blender or 2 forks, until mixture looks like coarse crumbs. Stir in milk.

Place on lightly floured surface; knead 5 to 7 times or until dough forms.

Pat dough ½ inch think; cut out 12 rounds with 2 1/2-inch round cutter. Place on ungreased cookie sheet. Brush egg white froth over rounds.

Bake 12 to 15 minutes or until golden brown. Cool 15 minutes.  
In chilled small bowl, beat whipped cream until soft peaks form. Split shortcakes in half horizontally.

Deposit strawberries between halves and over tops. Top with whipped cream and additional strawberries.

* * *

Genis: Smells sweet.

Raine: Doesn't it? It's a new kind of shortcake.

Genis: When you say new…

Raine: Exactly, I invented it.

Genis: Oh…

Raine: Now taste it.

Genis: I knew it would come down to it. (Tastes the shortcake and spits it out) What the hell is this thing? You put the inversed proportions on everything!

Raine: (takes out a notebook) Right, memo: Don't inverse the proportions.


	27. Sugar Zwieback

I am so sorry. Really, I am. I prioritized my health and university exam over your pleasure from knowing what not to do. But fear not, for I am back… and tell Genis to stop hiding, while you're at it.

* * *

_Aquatic _wings has offered a recipe she did at school… Let's see what Raine does with it, shall we?

* * *

Sugar Zwieback (4 dozen)

2 cups milk

1 cup butter, cut into pieces

1 cup honey

8 cups white sugar

.25 oz active dry yeast

1/2 cup warm water

4 eggs

4 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

* * *

Heat milk in a small saucepan until just starting to bubble. Remove from heat; stir in butter and honey. Set aside and let cool. Set aside 1 cup sugar. Stir remaining sugar into milk mixture. Let cool to room temperature.

Seperate egg yolks from egg whites. Dispose of yolk and beat white to a froth.

In a large bowl, combine yeast and lukewarm water. Set aside 5 minutes for yeast to soften. Beat cooled milk mixture, egg froth, 4 cups flour, and nutmeg into yeast mixture.

Put set aside sugar in a pan and make it melt until liquid. Do not remove from the pan and keep caramel liquid.

Knead dough in a bowl until a smooth, soft dough forms. Divide dough into 8 balls 3 inches in diameter. Place balls 4 inches apart on lightly greased cookie sheets; pat into 4 inch rounds. Dip them in caramel. Set aside, lightly covered with kitchen towels, about 1 hour, or until doubled in size.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C). Bake raised rounds 30 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from oven; leave oven on. Let cool on sheets 10-15 minutes, or until cool enough to handle.

With a serrated knife, cut each round into six 1/2-inch slices. Place slices, cut sides down, on cookie sheets and return to oven for 5 minutes. Turn slices and bake 5 to 7 minutes longer. Turn off heat and leave in unopened oven until cool, about 45 minutes.

Serve with sugar.

* * *

Genis: It smells good…

Raine: Of course it does.

Genis: Ok. What's the catch?

Raine: there isn't. And taste it. NOW

Genis: Yeah, fine. (eats the cookies)

Raine: so?

Genis: (spits it out) Raine… have you ever heard of the term _OVER SWEET_?

Raine (takes out notebook) : right, memo. Don't use up all the sugar in the house.

* * *

So... What next?


	28. Chocolate Cornets

Wow, college life is such a hassle... especially when you live at about 2 hours from your campus and have a part time work... What was I getting at already? Oh, right, I was saying I was too busy to post any new recipes. But here I am!

Here's _Happymystery12_ request for chocolate cornets

* * *

Chocolate Cornet (20 cornets)

Cornet dough

3 cups flour

1 and 1/2 tsp salt

2 and 1/2 tsp baking powder

4 cups water

2 eggs

1/4 cup butter

Chocolate custard stuffing

1/4 cup milk

1/4 cup sugar

2 cup flower

6 egg whites

3 cup cocoa powder

2 oz chocolate

2 tsp butter

3 drops vanilla essence

* * *

Warm up the water to around 54°F (30°C)

Add the dry yeast to the water and stir. Let it rest a bit.

While the yeast and water mix rests, prepare the other ingredients: Mix flour, salt, sugar and butter in a large bowl. Then add eggs and the water/yeast mix. Mix together.

When all ingredients are well blended, take the doughy goo out of the bowl and pat it. After the dough is well patted and has a ball-ish form and place it in a bowl. Let it rest for about an hour.

While the dough rest, prepare the custard cream. Start by beating egg whites to a froth then add half of the sugar and all the egg whites to a fairly big casserole. Stir it together.

Add flour, stir a bit, then add the rest of the sugar. Stir again.

Add the cocoa powder to the mix. Add the milk into the mix while you're stirring. Put it on the oven and cook, while stirring the whole time.

Once the mix is hardening, add butter and chocolate. Once these are added, take the mix off the plate, add the vanilla essence, and let it cool down.

While the custard is cooling down, take out the doughy goo. Part it into 20 pieces of equal size. Roll each piece into long cylinder-like forms, around 8 inches long. Make one side thinner than the other.

Let the dough rest for about 30 minutes.

Bake cornets at 360°F (200°C) for about 10 minutes. Let them cool down a bit.

Fill each cornet with the hardened custard cream and serve

* * *

Raine: Genis I-

Genis: Yeah, yeah, I know... you want me to be the test subject for another one of your recipes, right?

Raine: Of course not!

Genis: Really?

Raine: Of course. I will give you the privilege of having a preview of my newest culinary invention (hands sticky cornet-y thing to Genis)

Genis: (sighs) Should have guessed so... (tastes it) Yuck! Why is the bread so gooey and the chocolate so hard? It's supposed to be the other way around!

Raine: Right, memo: add flower and take water out of the dough and put yolks in the chocolate-

Genis: And the sugar? Where's the sugar? It's supposed to be SWEET!

Raine: -And add sugar in both cornet and and chocolate

* * *

There. This one is over. I'll try to post another one soon, so please forgive my lateness and don't miss _Genis' next tort_- Sorry, I meant: Raine's next recipe


	29. Bread Pudding

I'm out of inspiration for the usual introduction phrase, so I'll keep it short and simple: Here's for _Shiroi Iyasu_'s request for bread pudding

* * *

Bread Pudding (6 people)

6 slices of week old bread

2 tbp butter, melted

4 eggs

2 cup dry milk

3/4 cup sugar

1 tsp ground cinnamon

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

* * *

Preheat oven to 215°F (120°C).

Break bread into small pieces and put them in an 8 inch square baking pan. (You may need a saw or a sledgehammer to break the bread)

Drizzle melted butter over bread.

In a medium mixing bowl, combine eggs, dry milk, sugar, cinnamon, and vanilla. Beat until well mixed. Pour over bread, and lightly push down with a fork until bread is covered and soaking up the egg mixture.

Bake in the preheated oven for 1 hour and 15 minutes.

* * *

Raine: Genis, I just made some bread pudding for snack.

Genis: That... isn't what I call 'pudding

Raine: Of course not, it's a 'bread' pudding... So have some... _now_

Genis: (bites it hard)

Raine: So, how is it?

Genis: (Takes it out of his jaws in a perfect state -the bread pudding, not the jaws-) Waine... What ingwedients did wou wuse to wake tis?

Raine: Well, it asked for old bread... So I used the bread that was leftover and I even managed to finish the dry milk...

Genis: It needs wiquid milk, and bwead wat isn't too wold!

Raine: right, memo: Use liquid milk

Genis: And bwead!

Raine: -_And _fresher bread

Genis: And dee woven!

Raine: -Aaand the time and temperature. Anything else.

Genis: Weah dere is... cast fiwst aid... Pwease!

* * *

Oooookay. Next chapter is chapter **30**! And that meaaans... that next chapter is a _Restaurant Raine_ chapter. So no requests will be granted for it... See you soon at _doomsda_- Oops, my bad, I obviously meant at _Restaurant Raine 3._


End file.
